Pilot

Hello and Welcome to a festive edition of Knife the Watermelon, KERNL. and I are here to welcome you to the New Year with a certain amount of trepidation and stigma, so enjoy our cynical monologues before we transform into a self-indulgent mess of callousness.
GetThatWookie

There are things in the world that suck, and the only thing worse than that is people pointing out those flaws and making life seem like a drag, so I have a feeling we aren’t going to get along. Every 2 weeks, I will pause my manufacture of fried Chikanz to bring you a panorama-esque report into things that push us all closer to the edge of a Call of Duty 4 bomb squad “accident”. Merry crossbow, my beloved unknowns
KERNL.SANDERS

I, on the other hand, will bring you comprehensive life-lists of shit no-one likes. These'll be on the offweek. Of course, this is all wishful thinking, and the likelihood of this happening is slim to none. So count your blessings and enjoy our first labour of love-to-hate.
GetThatWookie